Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My father's eyes

There is so much I could write about this experience that we're going through as my dad nears the end of his life on earth, but it's mostly too raw for me right now. Our family has been lifted up and loved on and are getting through this only by the grace of God and the prayers of His people. And we are thankful.

My father has blue eyes and while I didn't get his exact eye color like my sister did (mine fluctuate between dark blue and green), I think my eyes are shaped like his. But more than just the physical characteristics of his eyes, the ways that they looked at me, his daughter, have spoken volumes to me. Nothing but pure love has come across to me through his eyes, even when I made him angry. My father's eyes told me that he loved me and that he thought I was beautiful and that he was one of my biggest fans.

This morning while he was lying in his hospital bed, I went close to his face to tell him "good morning" and that I love him. Many times while he's been so ill, his eyes have not been focusing and I couldn't get a good read on how he was doing through his eyes. But this morning, we had a sweet interaction through our eyes and I will remember it forever.

I looked at his eyes and told him I was there and that I liked the morning. He kind of blinked, so I asked him to blink again. He did it, so I smiled and told him I loved him and that it made my heart happy for him to blink for me. He closed his eyes in a deliberate way and kept them closed a second, and then opened them again. I thanked him for doing that for me.

There's an old Amy Grant song called, "Father's Eyes" which talks about the love of our heavenly Father. All of my life, I knew that my earthly father loved me, either by his words or the loving twinkle in his eyes, and he also taught me about the love of God, the Father, throughout my life. I am so thankful that my dad was able to show me his love through his eyes once again when my heart is so broken over having to say good-bye very soon.


Debidoodl said...

Nanette, what an incredible gift your Heavenly Father gave you by giving you a gift from your earthly father. I'm so thankful you had that moment with your daddy. Love you... Deb

Laura Massey said...

So well written Nanette and what a sweet moment with you dad! I am so thankful that we have dads who have loved their girls so well!