So, as I'm going through my daily life, I have realized that yes, I do need to be transformed and no, I can't do it on my own. Here are just a few examples of situations that I'm in daily that show me my deep need for the Gospel:
- Each weekday when I drive to work, I have to get on I-65 at Harding Place, where people are going fast and trying to get over to the right lanes to exit at Armory Drive (why?) and I-440. They are looking out for #1 and it's not me! These people make me so mad!
- At my workplace, there are people who think their mother works there. They leave dishes in the sink (the dishwasher is right next to the sink, but they must also think that the dishes have legs and can walk themselves into the dishwasher), they leave opened creamer and sugar packets on the counter (again, these things must be able to walk themselves over to the trash can), and they leave crumbs on the tables after eating lunch. Since cleaning up after people is apparantly in the job description for Director of Administration, under "other duties as assigned", I usually get to take care of these messes. And I get mad inside!
- When 100+ people work under one roof, five days a week, 8 hours a day, personalities interact and sometimes clash. Gossiping also happens. I'm not immune to any of that and it shows me my sinful nature all the time!
- Relating to a certain person in my life who I used to be married to brings challenges and continues to show me my need for the Gospel (as it did when I was married, but I think more so now).
- Being a mom, a sister, an aunt, a friend, all these relationships are wonderful, but sometimes I mess up and say something I shouldn't or act in a controlling way. I am blessed with people in my life who show grace to me and forgive me when I fall. I am grateful.
I am excited about the next few months of doing this GT study. I only pray that I will not just read it and do the exercises, but that God will truly do a transforming work in my heart and I will be changed.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24